May 8, 2013

I want you to know... (my Mother's Day wish)

I've spent some time this week navigating questions about what I "want" for Mother's Day. This year is a milestone year for me in ways, because after 17+ years of being a mom, I am sending my firstborn off to college.

My "mommy" days are done. It's time to be the mother. And time to tell my children what I want.

I want you to think. By that, I mean that you need to consider the choices that are endless... and pick one. Intelligently. I also want you to make choices that are your own. Don't choose something that either agrees or defies what we've tried to instill. Please, I get there are times you hate my words, but for the love of all that is holy, do not choose the opposite based on a chance to defy me.

I want you to hate me. And quickly get over it. I know you will hate me. It means you are doing #1. You are thinking. So that trumps #2, my wish that you like me. In order for #1 to happen, at some point in time #2 must. You need to have such an opposite view of what I want for you that you hate me. Then realize, I may have a point. Stop hating me while you begrudgingly accept my wisdom.

I want you to know how to tell me I'm full of it. I want you to be smart enough to say why you don't agree with me. I want you to know that I already know you're smart. Prove it. Show me a reason to change my mind. What you don't know is that I can and will if you're convincing. Because...

I want you to know that I'm not perfect. My only perfection is my ability to love you without condition. I love you with every fiber I have. You are everything I ever wanted in life, I wanted to be a parent. I didn't know how, and I still don't but that will never change how much I love you. I know I screwed up at times. I know where I failed. I hope my failure didn't cripple you. Because YOU are so much more than me. You are me without my mistakes. You're young. You are unmarred. Your life is my hope. Base it on your gut, not me. I am not perfect.

Lastly, I want you to know... You belong to you. The world is yours and you can do as you wish. I can hope, pray, and even nudge you... but ultimately, you're you. I want you to have the confidence to be the best YOU there is. My work is almost done, but I'll never stop loving you. You're mine and I'm proud.

Thank you for being part of my world. Being a mother is the greatest honor there is.



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