November 21, 2017

Just another #MeToo story

Who hasn't seen that one?

My early career was in retail and it was a busy environment. There were so many times I felt uncomfortable about the comments made by the men. We women shrugged it off, said we should be flattered, or felt prude and uncool if we expressed offense.

I was in college at the time and my manager was sitting in the back of the office watching me from behind as I waited on a customer. After the customer left, he asked me if I had been a cheerleader in high school. I was the furthest thing from that, so I looked at him with a baffled expression. He said, I couldn't help but notice how toned and muscular your legs are. I bet you would have been something to watch.

I never wore a skirt to work after that. He even remarked on that. My co-workers used to tease me that they wanted me to wear a skirt again so that he would be in a good mood.

That was only one time I felt uneasy. I had another manager who had the least subtle way in the world of trying to look down my blouse. He was tall and would come and stand next to me while I was doing paperwork, glancing down my shirt.

I talked to a trusted male and he said something like, "It's only harassment if you don't want the attention, so don't dress in a way that asks for attention." Victim blaming at its finest. Especially since what I was wearing was the dress code that the company dictated. Unless I bound my chest or butt, there was no way to conceal what was underneath my clothing.

Over and over, I felt like my appearance and not my professionalism was how I was evaluated at work. At one point, someone higher up invited me to lunch to discuss a possible promotion. He tried to kiss me at the end of the lunch and I awkwardly turned it into a very weird hug. He called me the next day and asked if I would be interested in attending an out of town conference that would offer some good networking opportunities for me. The whole incident made my skin crawl. But I never said anything. (I didn't go to the conference, either).

Shortly after that, I became pregnant with our first child. I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to continue working and truthfully, I think part of the reason I walked away was that I didn't think my career would go forward if I wasn't willing to be a plaything.

Fast forward to middle age, restless housewife. I've reached the point in my life that I am more or less invisible. At 51 and a little chubby, I don't get cat-calls and I don't worry that I'm only getting noticed because I have cleavage or nice legs. And that feels a little weird, too, if I'm being honest.

What makes me even happier? My oldest is now a college graduate. She experienced a "MeToo" moment and was outraged. OUTRAGED! I was so proud of her for not being confused or thinking she had done something wrong.

Progress, albeit slow, but progress.

Women, speak up.

November 14, 2017

Capsule Wardrobe for 10 Days in the Winter

Our family is spending time away this winter. We will be reuniting with Baby Bird #1 as she finishes her final study abroad program in Europe. She has been there four months. We organized a family trip as a final send off to the exciting new world awaiting her.

We typically travel in the summer so room for clothing hasn't ever been much of an issue. Shorts and sandals take up a lot less room than sweaters and boots. I've done some traveling and have compiled several tips, but this was a new challenge for me.

I want to leave a lot of room in my suitcase for whatever items my daughter has accumulated in her four months as well as picking up souvenirs. (Tip: Take a larger suitcase than you need and fill the empty space with bubble wrap for any delicate souvenirs you may pick up). Additionally, I am pretty stringent about not exceeding the airline weight limit of 50 pounds for two reasons. Who wants to lug a heavy bag around and who wants to pay that extra fee? Not I, said the Mama Hen.

I've got myself organized. I researched quite a bit and realized that my staple wardrobe of blacks and tans will work quite well. I did have to pick up a few items to round out my capsule, but in the interest of saving money, I shopped Swap.com to find secondhand items. I love shopping Swap because it's easy to filter size, brand, and item of clothing and the selection is huge. The link I've added contains a referral code and you will save 20% off your first purchase. I also purchased one of my items from a local friend's boutique, Shop Stevie. Versatile & comfortable clothing.

I've stuck to neutral colors, with a smattering of patterns, and a few colorful pieces for some pizzazz. I also will be swapping out statement accessories to mix it up. Essentially, I have 3 slacks, 5 tops, 5 vests/cardigans/blazers, and 2 scarves.

Without further ado, this is what I'm packing for our 10 day trip. Want to see how I'm going to dress differently each day?

Itemized clothing list: (see captions for what is mixed and matched)
  1. Black sleeveless t-shirt
  2. Silk blouse in muted tans & greys
  3. Black pull on slacks
  4. Tan pull on slacks
  5. Black & white herringbone patterned leggings
  6. Tan & black blazer
  7. Black sweater vest
  8. Grey draped cardigan
  9. Black & blush patterned infinity scarf
  10. Turquoise fringed wrap scarf

l to r, (3, 11, 9 and 10, 4, 7)

l to r, (2, 12, 8) (6, 14, 8) (9, 13, 1) (5, 12, 7)


l to r, (1, 16, 9) (3, 7) (2, 10, 8)  (4, 7, 13, 15)

I also have a few wild card items not shown:  a knit dress that rolls to nothing, pajamas, a swim suit for the hotel, shoes (short black boots and a pair of hiking shoes), socks, and undergarments. I am also bringing a set of long johns for layers on cold days and a roll up puffer jacket. I will follow up with a photo of my fully packed suitcase before we leave. 

Can you think of other ideas to mix 'n' match? Maybe I'll stay longer! 

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