June 27, 2012

Mommy Blogging?

I finally realized today why that designation makes me bristle so much. I am a parent of teens. I didn't really start blogging until five years ago when they were 9 and 11 (versus 14 and 16). I don't feel like I can claim the mommy blogger title accurately, since I have very little to say about diapering or baby food. The simple fact is, the days when that was my biggest decision are no longer significant. I used cloth and nursed until they could eat. Diapers were something I dunked in the toilet then wrung out and baby food just didn't hit our horizon. I was weird then, and while it seems that more moms today are doing this stuff, it's so scattered that their only community may indeed be an online one. I know when I was diapering my children with cloth I was weird. Or cheap. Or something like that. But I'm so over it. I have nothing relevant to add to the discussion because while in the day, it was monumental, today, it's the past. I am not a "mommy blogger" in the respect that my children need an adviser more than they need a mommy.

I think.


I still think I have something relevant to say. I may not be wiping noses, but I've not stopped being a parent. I am still mom and still the first source of all things answerable. It's amazing how much more often I have to humbly answer "I don't know" versus, "I said so". I always swore I'd never b.s. my children. I wanted to give them the best I could and inspire them to places past what I could give them. As we approach their first and last year of high school, respectively, I realize they have exceeded me in many places. I am so proud of them. 

Yet, they haven't exceeded me in seniority. I am here longer so that must count for something. Come to think, it counts for a lot. The things I have left to teach them have very little to do with coloring in lines, wiping their behinds, or memorizing the ABCs. I'm prepping to talk to them about what live without parents is like. I want to explain how different the world is when you're on your own.

Yesterday, my OldEnoughToDrive child took it upon herself to go for lunch somewhere. It wasn't an expected place and at first my heart lurched. We didn't discuss this trip. I realized how I must have sounded to her. Really? You need to know each mile of my travel? As if that would help me what?

So yes, I'm a mommy blogger. I don't diaper my children or arrange their food in smiley faces. I don't create craft projects to keep us busy on a summer day. I do love them and guard over them. I smile when college offers come in. I encourage when a new opportunity unfolds.

I am their mom(my) and I couldn't be more proud.




9 comments:

  1. I agree with you, Kim, I don't like being called a "mommy blogger" because it implies we're "just mommies" talking about "mommy stuff" (i.e. little kid stuff). We're bloggers, writers, moms, daughters, friends, business women, professionals...each one of those things is a seperate role and hat. "Mommy blogger" categorizes and denies and limits. I'm proud of my kids and being a mom, but I'm not going to define myself that way...thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!!!

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    1. Exactly, Kris. I don't want to be defined by the experience, but neither do I want to remove it from my realm of expertise. It's only one of the things I have a lot to say about.

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  2. I had to respond here! I am not a mommy blogger, as I was told a few months ago when I wanted to join a group of women bloggers who were blogging about all sort of life things - or so I thought.

    I learned that the term 'mommy blogger' isn't something that they thought fit me, I guess since I'm mommying a 19 year old. What? Imagine my shock and dismay! I had been mommying longer than most of these women but I was being penalized because I write about things not all that relevant to A (always). That seems so unfair! Glad I'm not alone!

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    1. Yeah, let's hear it for us veteran moms. We have a lot to say to those young upstarts! ;)

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  3. I have young kids, and honestly, would prefer not to talk about their diapers or arrange their food into smiley faces. (I don't even cut off the crusts if we're being honest here...)

    I know lots of people enjoy niche blogs, but in reality it's hard to take your whole life, and compress it neatly into one "theme". And I wonder if this is true for everyone, or more true for women. Yet I see many women who easily surpass the title of "mommy bloggers" despite frequently talking about their spouses and children...

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    1. The assumption that women who blog are "mommy bloggers" is like presuming that if a man authors a blog, he's writing about being a daddy.

      I never cut the crusts off, either. (hence part of my blog description, sometimes life just has a crust too!)

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  4. I've fallen into the "mommy blogger" trap quite completely. I'm a runner, a lawyer, and a small time philanthropist. However, seeing my world though the mother lens has been eye opening. I don't mind the title. However, I've been blogging since 2007 and my daughter is only 20 months old. I like to say that I am a writer who became a blogger.

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    1. Welcome to my blog! Yes, parenting changes our perspective on everything. I admit, I found I had a lot more to say after having children than previously. For me, I think it was that I was much more aware of the world at large than when I only was concerned about my own place in it, versus the place of two more folks.

      I look forward to spending more time interacting. I like how you said you're a writer who became a blogger. :)

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  5. Following you from http://chatonsworld.blogspot.com

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