Emptying the Nest Even More

 In 2016, I embarked upon chronicling the emotions and changes taking place as our second child moved to college and our house truly became quiet. 

I blogged a weekly column for 18 weeks living the emotions and changes I was experiencing mentally. The intention was to write a book about it. So much for intentions. In my desire to wring every last drop of angst out of the experience, I also found employment, new projects, and a renewed sense of purpose. I put the book project on hiatus to revisit at a later date. 

Then came COVID-19. The child who emptied our nest found her job prospects in limbo with the pandemic and moved home, almost exactly a year ago. She finished her college career online and had a you-tube commencement. Frankly, it was pretty lame and a bit of a let-down for such a stellar college career. But she's been under our roof again. 

I cannot pretend to know her stress, but for the better part of this past year, we have been each other's sole companions. A nest of three, but mostly two, as she and I have been engaged in work-from-home ventures. She has been tutoring and consulting, I have been doing content creation for a local boutique marketing firm. 

Then the bomb dropped. My husband was offered a new job in another state (one we never lived) and he took it. Suddenly the nest of the past 13 years needs to be emptied. Talk about a clean sweep. We are moving 805 miles away. Time to assess everything. Marie Kondo maybe lives in a condo? I don't know but I have never looked at all our stuff with such a critical eye in my life. I am purging and emptying. 

I spoke to auctioneers who will help us liquidate. I am debating every single item we own. Wow. 

Our daughter will be heading to law school in the Fall, the year at home helped her pivot her career trajectory. Things are coming full circle in many ways. We began our marriage in a city neighborhood, on a city lot, in a 1920s home. We walked to the store, park, library, and post office. 

Thirty years later, that is our plan again. 

In a way, it will be nice to break from our current town and neighborhood. Admittedly, I still get a little sad walking around and seeing all the school spirit signs and realizing that each year takes us farther away from those days. But we are closer again to being that couple that fell in love and built a life together 30 years ago. We didn't really empty a nest, we simply shifted it to a new location. 

Yesterday things got even more real. I held a "house-cooling" (versus house warming) party to say goodbye to all my local friends. Today, our household items went live on the auction site and tomorrow the new buyers do their final walk-through. (Thank goodness they've already committed to purchasing because the house is a maze of boxes! Certainly not showroom ready.)

As I sorted through a lifetime of memories, really trying to cull what matters, I flashed back over and over. I found notes from long-lost friends, photos of my children when they were little, so many things that sparked memories. I found an autograph book I received for my 13th birthday, that I proudly took to all my family members and had them sign. My eyes welled up as I saw the notes of so many relatives who are now gone left for that new teenager. 40+ years of loving wishes. That will be making the trip. 

Home is so much more than a roof, so much more than walls or tables, chairs or decorations. Home is where there is love. Love cannot be contained and love is not location-specific. So as scared as I am of the uncertainty, I also am confident that if the first thing I unpack is love, I will be home.