Shades of Grey
I recently finished the BDSM/erotica/romantica trilogy. It's been called "mommy porn" by many, though that categorization makes me bristle. I don't have a problem with women enjoying their sexuality or however they choose to express it. While I personally don't find the particular kink appealing, I have no issue with the fact that others do. Different strokes for different folks. Or in the case of BDSM, different strikes? But truthfully, the fact that I read the entire series makes me bristle a little, because I found it distasteful from the first book. Yet I kept reading the entire trilogy, looking for a clue to the massive appeal of the series.
I have to tell you, it's not a prude thing why I didn't care for it. I can deal with the gratuitous sex scenes. I think they became rather diluted due to overkill, but all that aside, it wasn't the sex that bothered me. Write about sex all you want, it's why Anais Nin and Henry Miller are considered icons in the genre. Great authors can pen great erotic scenes and sex is an essential part of humanity. It pleases me to know that erotic writing is being accepted into mainstream literature a bit more easily.
All that aside, I didn't care for the Shades of Grey series. The underlying message suggests that breaking the rules is acceptable if you're filthy rich. Stalking is cool if the guy is wealthy. In fact, it's desirable and makes the woman feel wanted. Talking a woman into doing something she didn't want to do is okay if you reward her decision with expensive gifts. I found the whole premise beyond disturbing for several reasons. For those of you familiar with the story, take a little journey with me, please.
Suppose the guy was a homeless vagabond. He searched out where the object of his obsession worked. He went to her place of employment where he bought rope and ties and masking tape all the while thinking how delightful it would be to tie her up and keep her in his secret play space, while he flogged and did with her as he pleased. Still as romantic or sexy once you strip away the fancy clothes and palatial surroundings?
That simple shift makes all the difference, doesn't it? The story goes from being romantic to being disturbing. While the tale had hints of the hit movie Pretty Woman in it, with the fun shopping, the fancy surroundings, and the complete disregard for any sort of budget, the cost seems to be rather high, even if not in currency. The suggestion that rules of decency can be ignored if you purchase the woman designer clothing and shoes cheapens the whole idea of romance and honestly, even lust. Sex becomes nothing more than a commodity. And while sex sells, I hate the thought that women would sell out.
A rose by any other shade, still is a dingy grey.
May 23, 2012
May 17, 2012
Countdown to Summer
As the school year wraps up, families are counting down to summer vacations and the opportunity to getaway. One of the most convenient ways to comparison shop is by using an online booking agent. Such sites have become so competitive and popular that many of them now also offer online coupons.
We're a big fan of coupon shopping in our home. Some statistics about coupon use is that less than 10% of coupons printed are ever redeemed. Coupons are not just for grocery stores, but also online shopping sites as well. Smart consumers know that with a few minutes of searching, they can find big savings. Online coupons generally come in the form of a special promotional code. We've listed a few reputable sites that offer coupons for the Expedia website. These coupons range from discounts on airfare, hotels, theme parks, rental cars and even gasoline cards.
It is important to know that if a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Here are a few tips to spot a real offer from a bogus one. Legitimate offers generally will have an expiration date, will offer a discount (not free) and will require you to make a purchase. As always, check the fine print on the offers for restrictions and expiration dates. By following the instructions, there are many travel discounts to be found online. Here are some of sources we've discovered! Happy Travels!
May 15, 2012
Finding the Right Person
One of my favorite questions I ask when I am getting to know someone knew is how they met their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other. Almost everyone has a story how they met and nobody's story is uninteresting. For example, I tell folks I met my spouse because I was dating his friend. That never fails to elicit a few eyebrows and inquiries. It's not nearly as scandalous as it sounds. His friend and I had broken up but still were friendly and we attended a party together. I had met my spouse a number of previous times when I was still dating his friend. In fact, I tease him that he had flirted with most of my friends before he took on me. We hit it off and the rest, as they say nearly 22 years later, is history.
Another couple I know worked together, yet another met when he wouldn't stop badgering her to go out, and as she puts it, he wore her down. Even stories like that charm me, because the end result is positive. Some couples are high school sweethearts, while others meet in nursing homes. Other couples meet through common interests. Anything that brings two people together is a step in the right direction.
I recently had a conversation with new friend who met her beau on an online matchmaking site. She lowered her voice and said she was a bit embarrassed by how they met and I said, "Don't be embarrassed, be happy you found someone whose company you enjoy! Does it matter how you found each other?" The opportunity to choose who you want to spend time with on your own terms is imminently appealing.
Probably the only way to meet someone to date that has me skeptical are the television shows turn meeting the right partner into a competition or game. At some point, the pop culture/reality aspect of it comes off as rather contrived. It's so much more natural to meet someone from a comfort level that you determine, doing something you enjoy doing, in a place that you enjoy being.
In the spirit of this post, I invite you to share how you met your significant other.
Don't be shy... how did you meet?
Another couple I know worked together, yet another met when he wouldn't stop badgering her to go out, and as she puts it, he wore her down. Even stories like that charm me, because the end result is positive. Some couples are high school sweethearts, while others meet in nursing homes. Other couples meet through common interests. Anything that brings two people together is a step in the right direction.
I recently had a conversation with new friend who met her beau on an online matchmaking site. She lowered her voice and said she was a bit embarrassed by how they met and I said, "Don't be embarrassed, be happy you found someone whose company you enjoy! Does it matter how you found each other?" The opportunity to choose who you want to spend time with on your own terms is imminently appealing.
Probably the only way to meet someone to date that has me skeptical are the television shows turn meeting the right partner into a competition or game. At some point, the pop culture/reality aspect of it comes off as rather contrived. It's so much more natural to meet someone from a comfort level that you determine, doing something you enjoy doing, in a place that you enjoy being.
In the spirit of this post, I invite you to share how you met your significant other.
Don't be shy... how did you meet?
May 14, 2012
Growing Up
 |
| fabric growth chart |
We annually marked and dated a wall in our laundry room with hash-marks indicating how much our children had grown. We marveled at the progress and then one day, we found out we had to move. We no longer were going to mark the walls and in all likelihood, someone would be painting over our precious hash marks. In an effort to preserve that memory, we traced it and then transferred it to the wall in our new home.
How to make a growth chart can be much more attractive and portable than hash-marks on drywall. The fabric growth chart shown on the right can be customized to any decor and moved wherever the family lives. The Ribbon Retreat is a fabulous resource with easy tutorials for a myriad of personal crafts and gifts. To make it even easier, Ribbon Retreat offers all the fabric and ribbon to create their projects, with several ongoing sales and specials for both wholesale and retail customers. They regularly receive new fabric and ribbon to please any crafting person.
In accordance with FTC disclosure laws, Fresh Daily Bread has been compensated for this post. We only review companies and products we believe would be of interest to our readers and all opinions expressed are solely ours. If you are interested in sponsoring a post on this blog, click here.
May 9, 2012
An Open Letter to all Teachers
I just learned that this week is "Teacher Appreciation Week". Why only a week is my first question, but we'll move past that.
I am the parent of two children, 8th and 11th grade. I love teachers. I love the ways they open/close/expand and shrink my children's minds. I love that they make them think, even if that thought is occasionally negative. I even love when my kids hate their teachers, because it gives them a chance to learn how to deal with difficult folks. It also gives them someone besides their mother to hate. Let's face it, moms get a lot of that while watching their child grow.
Yes, I love school and I love the people who make it happen.
You see, while I never wanted to be one of "those" parents, I am heavily involved in the school day of my children. By "those" parents, I mean the sort that teachers whisper about in the lounges, during their breaks. The parents who micromanage their child and the way the child learns. I've made a concerted effort to hand off my child and trust the teacher. It's worked out well. I have been for a collective 22 years of school. (I figure that based on starting school at age 4 (preschool) for each child, ages 14 and 16). I have met over 100 teachers who were responsible for my offspring for several hours each day.
It baffles me to no end when folks gripe about teachers. I want to hug teachers and tackle them with joy. I am grateful that I am given a reprieve. That is not to imply I'm anything close to an un-involved parent, but rather that I am a partner with the teachers. I love knowing that someone who isn't me is helping open my child's mind. I don't want a mini me who doesn't quite get complicated math formulas, or whose eyes glaze over during chemistry lessons. I want them to learn from many folks who teach in many ways. I want them to spend time with someone who isn't me.
At the end of every school year, especially in elementary school, I've given the teachers a framed poem:
I am the parent of two children, 8th and 11th grade. I love teachers. I love the ways they open/close/expand and shrink my children's minds. I love that they make them think, even if that thought is occasionally negative. I even love when my kids hate their teachers, because it gives them a chance to learn how to deal with difficult folks. It also gives them someone besides their mother to hate. Let's face it, moms get a lot of that while watching their child grow.
Yes, I love school and I love the people who make it happen.
You see, while I never wanted to be one of "those" parents, I am heavily involved in the school day of my children. By "those" parents, I mean the sort that teachers whisper about in the lounges, during their breaks. The parents who micromanage their child and the way the child learns. I've made a concerted effort to hand off my child and trust the teacher. It's worked out well. I have been for a collective 22 years of school. (I figure that based on starting school at age 4 (preschool) for each child, ages 14 and 16). I have met over 100 teachers who were responsible for my offspring for several hours each day.
It baffles me to no end when folks gripe about teachers. I want to hug teachers and tackle them with joy. I am grateful that I am given a reprieve. That is not to imply I'm anything close to an un-involved parent, but rather that I am a partner with the teachers. I love knowing that someone who isn't me is helping open my child's mind. I don't want a mini me who doesn't quite get complicated math formulas, or whose eyes glaze over during chemistry lessons. I want them to learn from many folks who teach in many ways. I want them to spend time with someone who isn't me.
At the end of every school year, especially in elementary school, I've given the teachers a framed poem:
What Do Teachers Make?
by: Author Unknown
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued: "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: "Those who can...do. Those who can't...teach."
To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he said. "Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could."
“I make kids believe in themselves when no one else will.”
"I make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."
"I make parents tremble in fear when I call home"
"You want to know what I make?
"I make kids wonder."
"I make them question."
"I make them criticize."
"I make them apologize and mean it."
"I make them write."
"I make them read, read, read."
"I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."
"I make them understand that if you have a dream, then follow it...and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make or what you do, you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what I make?! I make a difference."
What about you?
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
My colleague, Kris, has issued a challenge. Tell us your thoughts on teachers. Share the link here. Let's really appreciate the folks we trust with our children.
My colleague, Kris, has issued a challenge. Tell us your thoughts on teachers. Share the link here. Let's really appreciate the folks we trust with our children.
Get an Ivy League Education for Free
reprinted from : How to Get an Ivy League Education for Free - Fastweb
By Kathryn Knight Randolph
May 04, 2012
Do you have $55K laying around for one year of classes at Harvard or MIT? Didn’t think so. These Ivy League schools are not only the most difficult to get into; they’re also the hardest to pay for. But not anymore.
This week, Harvard and MIT announced that they’re teaming up to provide free online courses, though a program called edX, for anyone around the world, regardless of age, income or ability to get through the grueling admissions process at either school.
The edX FAQs state that the classes will include “self-paced learning, online discussion groups, wiki-based collaborative learning, assessment of learning as a student progresses through a course, and online laboratories.”
Unlike other free online learning collaborations, students of edX will actually be graded on their work and can receive credentials or certification based on their success in the class. However, in order to actually receive the certification, students must pay a small fee. Furthermore, the certification won’t be provided under Harvard or MIT’s name, which means that unfortunately, their name will never get to appear on your resume.
Though Harvard and MIT have been getting a lot of attention this week over their announcement to partner up on online learning, they’re not the first. In fact, Stanford, Princeton, University of Pennsylvania and University of Michigan also announced a very similar partnership this month, as reported by the New York Times.
But there is a big difference between the two programs. Harvard and MIT aren't just hoping to provide greater access to higher education; they’re also hoping to research more about the process of learning in general from the online courses.
Even now, edX developers are able to “track how long students spend working on an exercise or watching a short lecture video to see which tasks or lessons require more fine-tuned learning. Students in a course could be given one of two tests to see which measured learning better,” according to a press release from Harvard.
The estimated $60 million project will receive funding from each of the two schools, grants, and philanthropy and will eventually invite other schools to provide their courses through edX as well, as stated by Harvard. The New York Times reports that Harvard and MIT classes will become available on the edX platform during the fall of this year.
Would you take any of the edX courses offered by Harvard or MIT? Why or why not?
 |
| Occasional rivals, Harvard and MIT, team up to offer free online courses. |
By Kathryn Knight Randolph
May 04, 2012
Do you have $55K laying around for one year of classes at Harvard or MIT? Didn’t think so. These Ivy League schools are not only the most difficult to get into; they’re also the hardest to pay for. But not anymore.
This week, Harvard and MIT announced that they’re teaming up to provide free online courses, though a program called edX, for anyone around the world, regardless of age, income or ability to get through the grueling admissions process at either school.
The edX FAQs state that the classes will include “self-paced learning, online discussion groups, wiki-based collaborative learning, assessment of learning as a student progresses through a course, and online laboratories.”
Unlike other free online learning collaborations, students of edX will actually be graded on their work and can receive credentials or certification based on their success in the class. However, in order to actually receive the certification, students must pay a small fee. Furthermore, the certification won’t be provided under Harvard or MIT’s name, which means that unfortunately, their name will never get to appear on your resume.
Though Harvard and MIT have been getting a lot of attention this week over their announcement to partner up on online learning, they’re not the first. In fact, Stanford, Princeton, University of Pennsylvania and University of Michigan also announced a very similar partnership this month, as reported by the New York Times.
But there is a big difference between the two programs. Harvard and MIT aren't just hoping to provide greater access to higher education; they’re also hoping to research more about the process of learning in general from the online courses.
Even now, edX developers are able to “track how long students spend working on an exercise or watching a short lecture video to see which tasks or lessons require more fine-tuned learning. Students in a course could be given one of two tests to see which measured learning better,” according to a press release from Harvard.
The estimated $60 million project will receive funding from each of the two schools, grants, and philanthropy and will eventually invite other schools to provide their courses through edX as well, as stated by Harvard. The New York Times reports that Harvard and MIT classes will become available on the edX platform during the fall of this year.
Would you take any of the edX courses offered by Harvard or MIT? Why or why not?
May 7, 2012
Learning for Life
Today, my eldest child returned home from taking a rigorous standardized test. She was distraught because she didn't see a page of questions. She has the opportunity to take the test again in a year but was concerned that she would no longer know the information in a year. I asked her if she actually understood the topic (as it's one of her best ones) or if it was just memorized and crammed. If she knew the answers, she'd still know them in a year. However, if she merely was memorizing them long enough to get a passing grade, she may not retain the information. She just kept insisting that since she wouldn't have the same class next year, she would not remember anything about the topic.
At this point in my life, I've forgotten many things I once knew. My younger child had a math problem that I could solve but couldn't explain it the way she learned it. I knew the solution, but not the way to explain the right formula. Since I couldn't give her the formula, having the correct answer was not helpful. I honestly begin to wonder how well our schools are doing at teaching versus drilling.
Lowell Milken, a trailblazing education advocate explains,
"Nothing is more important for our future than education because it touches on just about everything we value as individuals, citizens and productive human beings."
With all the pressures on both students and teachers, many families are exploring alternative ways to educate their children. Learning is a lifelong activity from preschool to post high school education. Increasingly, the lessons learned in the earlier years remain applicable our entire educational career. Success in life begins with a solid early foundation. Some alternatives to traditional public schooling include Montessori, charter schools, private and parochial schools, homeschooling and online academies are becoming an attractive option to transform test takers into learning. Exploring the options is the first step to truly making certain no child is left behind.
May 6, 2012
April 27, 2012
Help fund local charities with a click
The following write-up originally appeared on my Examiner page.
Today's article is about a different, but no less important kind of green, the kind that comes in the form of donations. A Facebook voting contest sponsored by retailing giant, WalMart, has pledged to bring $1 million to the winning city's charities and $50,000 to the next 20 runners-up in a unique Fighting Hunger Together campaign.
As of 7:30 a.m. this morning, Youngstown-Warren, Ohio area had taken the lead to receive $1 million donated to the Second Harvest Food Bank of the Mahoning Valley and Catholic Charities Diocsese of Youngstown.
According to a report released by The Brookings Institution last November, the Youngstown metropolitan statistical area has some of the most densely concentrated poverty in the nation.
The nominated cities were selected based on regional unemployment rates as a criteria because according to WalMart,
Unemployment plays a role in an individual or family’s ability to put food on the table. In places where unemployment rates are highest, the food banks, soup kitchens and other hunger fighting organizations are being accessed more than ever to help Americans make ends meet.
Votes can be cast once every 24 hours and the winning community and the 20 runner-up communities will be announced on April 30, 2012. Organizations selected to receive grant dollars to fight hunger in the winning communities will be announced May 15, 2012. Anyone with a Facebook account can cast a vote the community of their choosing.
As a personal aside, regardless of your opinions about the contest sponsor, I urge you to consider the good the money can do for an area that has been struggling for years. Our area's charities could really use the boost.
April 24, 2012
Anticipation...
It took me a while to decide if I wanted to post this on my public blog. I don't want to seem ungrateful. However, it's a funny story and I'm still giggling about the whole process. I hope you get a chuckle, too!
I am helping with a fundraiser for one of the charities I volunteer for. About a month ago, I sent off a number of donation requests to several high profile organizations, including sports teams. The response has been amazingly positive. I was mailed a signed football from a pro sports team (GO BROWNS!), two box tickets to a ballgame (GO INDIANS!), 4 tickets to Walt Disney World (yeah, really!) and then an unnamed pro hockey team, not only approved my request, but contacted me via phone to inform me of as much. The same city's football team doesn't respond to unsolicited donation requests. I understood, they are a very successful business that can pick and choose who they donate to.
The community relations person for the team asked me to make an appointment to pick up their donation and had me spell my name twice for security purposes and reminded me to make sure I had a photo ID. It was explained that I would be on a list at the main reception area, to check in there, then they would send me on the elevator to the donation/community relations department. My anticipation was high, with such an incredible amount of filters, I could hardly wait to see what they were donated. Would it be club seats? Signed merchandise from one of their very famous players? What sort of donation must they be making to require such high security measures?
I couldn't drive to pick up the items for nearly a week after I received the phone call. The suspense was killing me. But I had my appointment and even received a confirmation call about the pick up date and time.
This morning, filled with excitement, I drove 75 miles each way to pick up the item. I paid to park and walked into their palatial offices, thrilled they were donating to our event. I was handed a bag with their logo and not wanting to seem too immature, I simply thanked them and walked out of the office. I didn't risk opening whatever valuable merchandise may be contained within while walking to my car, but I just tried to be patient until I was back in my car and could check what was in the bag.
...
...
...
(I know the anticipation is killing you, too, isn't it?)
I opened up the plastic drawstring bag to discover a pile of giveaway junk. Yes. Really.
There was a folding cardboard zamboni filled with corporate logos. A t-shirt and baseball cap. A cardboard 11x14 sign welcoming back a prodigal player. A video about the arena where they play. And a picture of some players complete with corporate logo across the bottom. A stretchy bookcover with the sponsor's logo.
I realize beggars cannot be choosers. I realize a donation is exactly that, it's what the organization wants to giveaway. But would a donation of a marginal value been too much to ask? According to Forbes magazine, while profits are down, the average NHL hockey team is worth $240 million, with an annual aveage revenue of about $103 million. I think they could have done better. Instead of breeding good will, I have sour grapes. I really wish they had just said, "we don't make donations". I feel like I got an entirely new understanding of the term, "cheapskate".
World Book Night 2012
A few months ago, I signed up as an ambassador for World Book Night 2012. It just was such a cool sounding program with so many amazing books, I was compelled to participate.
For those of you who don't know, World Book Night is a very unique literacy initiative. From their site:
I initially coordinated the giveaway at a friend's ice cream store, mostly because the pace is slow and relaxed and people are already doing something they enjoy (eating ice cream). But just as I was setting up, I received a phone call about a meeting I needed to attend and had completely forgotten about in my excitement for World Book Night. So I took my books and went to the meeting, where I graciously explained why I was late and then shared some of the books with the folks at the meeting. By the time the meeting was finished, the ice cream store was very quiet. I looked around the corner and saw a bustling laundromat, which was filled with a captive audience of folks waiting for their clothes to dry.
I walked in there and started talking to folks sitting at tables and chairs about the book I was giving away and why they would enjoy Stephen King's The Stand. While it is a daunting looking book (over 1400 pages!), the story is so compelling and the characters well developed that it's a perfect book to have as an ongoing read. I re-read it just last month in preparation for World Book Night and still found myself riveted. It's a timeless story of good vs. evil in an apocalyptic world.
The Stand wasn't the only book to choose from. Thirty books were available, including a selection by Maya Angelou, The (very very popular) Hunger Games, A Prayer for Owen Meany (which a fellow book lover friend of mine was chosen to give away), Lovely Bones, My Sister's Keeper, Friday Night Lights. Many of the books were also made into movies. There is something magical about sharing the "real" story with someone who has only seen a movie. For example, some of the television adaptation of The Stand was incredibly well done, but other parts, not so much. A book is like having a treasure map to all the hidden secrets of a tale.
The other books I had applied to giveaway were The Glass Castle, a memoir of a young woman who will astound you with her resiliency or The Lovely Bones, which I found to be an amazing story of healing in the face of something completely unforgivable.
I've also shared a photo of one of my happy recipients. I would love to hear how well she liked the book!
For those of you who don't know, World Book Night is a very unique literacy initiative. From their site:
What is World Book Night?
World Book Night is an annual celebration designed to spread a love of reading and books. To be held in the U.S. as well as the U.K. and Ireland on April 23, 2012. It will see tens of thousands of people go out into their communities to spread the joy and love of reading by giving out free World Book Night paperbacks.
World Book Night, through social media and traditional publicity, will also promote the value of reading, of printed books, and of bookstores and libraries to everyone year-round.
Additionally, April 23 is UNESCO’s World Book Day, chosen due to the anniversary of Cervantes’ death, as well as Shakespeare’s birth and death.The selection process was fairly simple. We filled out applications with our top three books we could share passionately with non-readers. We had to explain how we would share the book and where we would go to do so. We were encouraged to find a non-traditional venue and folks who wouldn't normally read.
I initially coordinated the giveaway at a friend's ice cream store, mostly because the pace is slow and relaxed and people are already doing something they enjoy (eating ice cream). But just as I was setting up, I received a phone call about a meeting I needed to attend and had completely forgotten about in my excitement for World Book Night. So I took my books and went to the meeting, where I graciously explained why I was late and then shared some of the books with the folks at the meeting. By the time the meeting was finished, the ice cream store was very quiet. I looked around the corner and saw a bustling laundromat, which was filled with a captive audience of folks waiting for their clothes to dry.
I walked in there and started talking to folks sitting at tables and chairs about the book I was giving away and why they would enjoy Stephen King's The Stand. While it is a daunting looking book (over 1400 pages!), the story is so compelling and the characters well developed that it's a perfect book to have as an ongoing read. I re-read it just last month in preparation for World Book Night and still found myself riveted. It's a timeless story of good vs. evil in an apocalyptic world.
The Stand wasn't the only book to choose from. Thirty books were available, including a selection by Maya Angelou, The (very very popular) Hunger Games, A Prayer for Owen Meany (which a fellow book lover friend of mine was chosen to give away), Lovely Bones, My Sister's Keeper, Friday Night Lights. Many of the books were also made into movies. There is something magical about sharing the "real" story with someone who has only seen a movie. For example, some of the television adaptation of The Stand was incredibly well done, but other parts, not so much. A book is like having a treasure map to all the hidden secrets of a tale.The other books I had applied to giveaway were The Glass Castle, a memoir of a young woman who will astound you with her resiliency or The Lovely Bones, which I found to be an amazing story of healing in the face of something completely unforgivable.
I've also shared a photo of one of my happy recipients. I would love to hear how well she liked the book!
April 23, 2012
Practice reduces imperfection
I don't expect to be perfect, hence the title of this post.
A few weeks ago I announced my full presence. I've shared my attempt to live aloud and it was met with a meager amount of praise. I've tried to speak my mind both vocally and written(ly?).
The results are in. It's working.
I wrote a story about my childhood that I'd always been nervous to share.
Today I reviewed a product and was brutally honest that it wasn't the greatest thing I ever received.
Sometimes, it's not always about deception. Silence is not deception, per se. Neither is it honesty. It's that place of imperfection that exists wherever we dare not.
But today, I dared. The other day, I dared. I dare myself to speak up with my face, my name, and my soul attached. I dared to live authentically.
I'm breathing in the oxygen of truth.
My lungs are full.
A few weeks ago I announced my full presence. I've shared my attempt to live aloud and it was met with a meager amount of praise. I've tried to speak my mind both vocally and written(ly?).
The results are in. It's working.
I wrote a story about my childhood that I'd always been nervous to share.
Today I reviewed a product and was brutally honest that it wasn't the greatest thing I ever received.
Sometimes, it's not always about deception. Silence is not deception, per se. Neither is it honesty. It's that place of imperfection that exists wherever we dare not.
But today, I dared. The other day, I dared. I dare myself to speak up with my face, my name, and my soul attached. I dared to live authentically.
I'm breathing in the oxygen of truth.
My lungs are full.
April 18, 2012
Fresh. Daily.
Based on my blog title if the next word is not Bread, then something else of sustenance.
I've been thinking about hunger/nutrition/food a lot lately. I've heard a lot of noise about cutting the SNAP program. SNAP is an acronym for Supplemental Assistance Nutrition Program. Most of us know SNAP as Food Stamps.
It really bothers me when folks are indignant about feeding each other. A friend of mine once said "food should be like air, it should just be something that is there".
I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. As a nation, we have crossed the place of everyone for themselves. That ship sailed. It's not a world of foraging, hunting or gathering. From an anthropological standpoint, we simply are no longer there. Society has changed the way we organize our days.
Our world is a place of localized gathering. We go to stores in an orderly fashion with a list and agenda. We are no longer the wild creatures seeking food, but rather the food is brought to us in exchange not for brawn or strength, but for paper symbols of currency. For most of us, that is.
While Darwin may have suggested survival of the fittest, often times, our less fit are children. Writing experts tell us frequently to write what we know. I cannot purport to know hunger. I can purport to know and have lived with charity.
When I was 12, my parents separated. For the next several years, while they tried to untangle two lives tangled, and figure out finances of two households, not one... I was the recipient of free school lunches. I never thought that would be my life, and looking back it seems almost surreal. I grew up in a comfortable home, with all the amenities. My life was so comfortable, that at one point, as I handed in my lunch ticket, the classmate who helped in the lunchroom looked at me and with the zero tact of a junior high aged kid said, "you get free lunches? I thought you were rich." I didn't know what to say. What I mostly remember is skipping lunches as often as I could. Trying to make it from the time I left for school, until I got home so I didn't have to endure the humiliation of that free lunch ticket.
For three years, I carried that card. I can remember family members buying us new clothes for the holidays, having no idea that we were on "government aid". I can only imagine the thoughts of those around me, as I hear it echoed so often today. "The kids have brand new [cell phones/video games] and yet they suck off the government." Those words sting. I travel back to my time of getting free lunches in my own new clothes. I didn't know then what folks must have been thinking, but I hear it today and it breaks my 12 year old heart. I felt so stupid as it was, getting free lunches. To think I was reviled and hated because it was a way to make sure I had something to eat in the middle of the day... I still shake my head.
I was a lucky one. My time was temporary. It ended. I wonder about those who see no end. Those whose parents work two or three jobs wondering why they never get ahead. I wonder what it must be like.
And in a tiny slice of my brain, I remember. I know what it was like.
That is why food should be like air. It just should "be there".
I've been thinking about hunger/nutrition/food a lot lately. I've heard a lot of noise about cutting the SNAP program. SNAP is an acronym for Supplemental Assistance Nutrition Program. Most of us know SNAP as Food Stamps.
It really bothers me when folks are indignant about feeding each other. A friend of mine once said "food should be like air, it should just be something that is there".
I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. As a nation, we have crossed the place of everyone for themselves. That ship sailed. It's not a world of foraging, hunting or gathering. From an anthropological standpoint, we simply are no longer there. Society has changed the way we organize our days.
Our world is a place of localized gathering. We go to stores in an orderly fashion with a list and agenda. We are no longer the wild creatures seeking food, but rather the food is brought to us in exchange not for brawn or strength, but for paper symbols of currency. For most of us, that is.
While Darwin may have suggested survival of the fittest, often times, our less fit are children. Writing experts tell us frequently to write what we know. I cannot purport to know hunger. I can purport to know and have lived with charity.
When I was 12, my parents separated. For the next several years, while they tried to untangle two lives tangled, and figure out finances of two households, not one... I was the recipient of free school lunches. I never thought that would be my life, and looking back it seems almost surreal. I grew up in a comfortable home, with all the amenities. My life was so comfortable, that at one point, as I handed in my lunch ticket, the classmate who helped in the lunchroom looked at me and with the zero tact of a junior high aged kid said, "you get free lunches? I thought you were rich." I didn't know what to say. What I mostly remember is skipping lunches as often as I could. Trying to make it from the time I left for school, until I got home so I didn't have to endure the humiliation of that free lunch ticket.
For three years, I carried that card. I can remember family members buying us new clothes for the holidays, having no idea that we were on "government aid". I can only imagine the thoughts of those around me, as I hear it echoed so often today. "The kids have brand new [cell phones/video games] and yet they suck off the government." Those words sting. I travel back to my time of getting free lunches in my own new clothes. I didn't know then what folks must have been thinking, but I hear it today and it breaks my 12 year old heart. I felt so stupid as it was, getting free lunches. To think I was reviled and hated because it was a way to make sure I had something to eat in the middle of the day... I still shake my head.
I was a lucky one. My time was temporary. It ended. I wonder about those who see no end. Those whose parents work two or three jobs wondering why they never get ahead. I wonder what it must be like.
And in a tiny slice of my brain, I remember. I know what it was like.
That is why food should be like air. It just should "be there".
March 29, 2012
Here I Am
I've blogged for several years now, in several different venues.
When I first started blogging, I used a pen name and kept it fairly anonymous, not sure if I wanted to broadcast my musings to the public at large. I have an irrational fondness for that hidden venue where I shared everything from my morning mood to recipes to political opinions. I was able to tell naughty jokes without worrying that someone would be offended or angry. I never had to worry about the repercussions of my voice on the folks I love. But it was also a security blanket of sorts.
Contrast that to a public venue such as Facebook. I have seen controversy and battles. I've been asked how I can be friends with "someone who thinks like that" and I've found myself in the middle of two or more friends when they disagreed. I've learned more about my neighbors than I thought I needed to know, and witnessed more than I felt I wanted to witness. I didn't want to feel awkward, but found myself knowing that they had a fight with their spouse, or were angry with their children, or had a falling out with another friend.
I tried to keep my anonymous voice separate from my known voice, but eventually there was crossover. There were folks I wanted to know better and in a more personal way, and before long, a lot of my "secret underground friends" were part of my public world.
I've decided that the dual world is difficult to navigate. Additionally, anonymity sometimes can be a safety net, but for others it can be insidious. Agendas are easier to keep hidden when you're anonymous. I've decided that I'm going to try to live out loud. I'm not going to blog anonymously anymore. The first step was to tell an off color joke in a place it may not go over.
Last night, at a church dinner, a bunch of us ladies got into a girl talk session about our body parts in the kitchen. We talked about gravity working on them, and about being too small or too large, we just were making silly girl talk. I told a joke. I said that my spouse gave me a handful of toilet tissue when I complained about having a small chest. I remarked that I was an adult and would NOT stuff my bra. He said I didn't have to stuff it, just rub it on my chest, since it worked so well on my behind.
The laughter was deafening. When it died down, the wife of a church leader asked, "And when is the funeral?"
Perhaps it's time for us to learn less about compartmentalizing and more about integration.
What about you? Do you have a private outlet?
When I first started blogging, I used a pen name and kept it fairly anonymous, not sure if I wanted to broadcast my musings to the public at large. I have an irrational fondness for that hidden venue where I shared everything from my morning mood to recipes to political opinions. I was able to tell naughty jokes without worrying that someone would be offended or angry. I never had to worry about the repercussions of my voice on the folks I love. But it was also a security blanket of sorts.
Contrast that to a public venue such as Facebook. I have seen controversy and battles. I've been asked how I can be friends with "someone who thinks like that" and I've found myself in the middle of two or more friends when they disagreed. I've learned more about my neighbors than I thought I needed to know, and witnessed more than I felt I wanted to witness. I didn't want to feel awkward, but found myself knowing that they had a fight with their spouse, or were angry with their children, or had a falling out with another friend.
I tried to keep my anonymous voice separate from my known voice, but eventually there was crossover. There were folks I wanted to know better and in a more personal way, and before long, a lot of my "secret underground friends" were part of my public world.
I've decided that the dual world is difficult to navigate. Additionally, anonymity sometimes can be a safety net, but for others it can be insidious. Agendas are easier to keep hidden when you're anonymous. I've decided that I'm going to try to live out loud. I'm not going to blog anonymously anymore. The first step was to tell an off color joke in a place it may not go over.
Last night, at a church dinner, a bunch of us ladies got into a girl talk session about our body parts in the kitchen. We talked about gravity working on them, and about being too small or too large, we just were making silly girl talk. I told a joke. I said that my spouse gave me a handful of toilet tissue when I complained about having a small chest. I remarked that I was an adult and would NOT stuff my bra. He said I didn't have to stuff it, just rub it on my chest, since it worked so well on my behind.
The laughter was deafening. When it died down, the wife of a church leader asked, "And when is the funeral?"
Perhaps it's time for us to learn less about compartmentalizing and more about integration.
What about you? Do you have a private outlet?
Keeping Up
Thanks for the guest post by Jo Levy
Two weeks ago we had the most embarrassing thing happen. I went to drop off the kids at school on a Monday and there was no one there! Apparently I did not get a note and failed to look at the calendar the school provided at the beginning of the year and did not realize there was a school holiday! After talking to the teacher the next day I learned that there is a great calendar on the school website that lists this information and more. It sounds like we are going to need exede packages wild blue as soon as possible! I did not realize how much information we were missing out on from the school until the teacher showed me the website. In addition to the calendar there are educational ideas and activities we can do at home to help keep up with their classmates and important information about outside activities that are available in the community as well. I had no idea I was such an uninformed parent!
The preceding post was brought to you by our sponsor.
Click here to advertise on Fresh Daily Bread
Two weeks ago we had the most embarrassing thing happen. I went to drop off the kids at school on a Monday and there was no one there! Apparently I did not get a note and failed to look at the calendar the school provided at the beginning of the year and did not realize there was a school holiday! After talking to the teacher the next day I learned that there is a great calendar on the school website that lists this information and more. It sounds like we are going to need exede packages wild blue as soon as possible! I did not realize how much information we were missing out on from the school until the teacher showed me the website. In addition to the calendar there are educational ideas and activities we can do at home to help keep up with their classmates and important information about outside activities that are available in the community as well. I had no idea I was such an uninformed parent!
The preceding post was brought to you by our sponsor.
Click here to advertise on Fresh Daily Bread
March 19, 2012
The Waiting Game
As the days become longer and warmer, Spring is as close as our next thought. I'm itching to see things grow and bloom, but my gardening zone advises to wait until May to begin planting outdoors, once the threat of frost has passed. It's not easy being patient when the birds are singing, the sun is shining and the grass is greening.
I've been combing over seed and plant catalogs dreaming of my garden this year which in addition to vegetables and herbs will also have some companion flowers. Some will be for cut arrangements, but others to thwart the invasive insects who have designs to chomp the tender little seedlings. To assuage my impatience, flower deliver can bring the love of the outdoors and garden into my home without risking a gardening disaster.
It's worth the time to properly care for the plants and ensure a beautiful garden. Over the weekend, I did do some prep work, tilling the soil, mixing in a winter's worth of compost and gazing lovingly at the earth, waiting for the day I can put my seeds and seedlings in the ground for a season of growth.
Do you garden? What do you like to grow; flowers, vegetables or herbs?
In accordance with FTC regulations, this post has been brought to you by a sponsor. See the sidebar for additional information on how to sponsor a post on this blog.
I've been combing over seed and plant catalogs dreaming of my garden this year which in addition to vegetables and herbs will also have some companion flowers. Some will be for cut arrangements, but others to thwart the invasive insects who have designs to chomp the tender little seedlings. To assuage my impatience, flower deliver can bring the love of the outdoors and garden into my home without risking a gardening disaster.
It's worth the time to properly care for the plants and ensure a beautiful garden. Over the weekend, I did do some prep work, tilling the soil, mixing in a winter's worth of compost and gazing lovingly at the earth, waiting for the day I can put my seeds and seedlings in the ground for a season of growth.
Do you garden? What do you like to grow; flowers, vegetables or herbs?
In accordance with FTC regulations, this post has been brought to you by a sponsor. See the sidebar for additional information on how to sponsor a post on this blog.
March 9, 2012
Bursting Into Song Randomly...
For newcomers, I confess I'm a huge fan of musical theater. I love the opportunity to suspend my belief that people burst into song randomly. In fact, I think the world would be hugely improved if we did!
It occurred to me to catalog the shows I've seen, some on Broadway, some in Community Theater, some on a High School stage, and even a few on television (though it really defeats the purpose of live theater, so that category has an asterisks). I'm lucky enough to have children who love performing so some of the listed shows, I've seen multiple times.
I know I've missed some... but this is my somewhat inclusive list.
It occurred to me to catalog the shows I've seen, some on Broadway, some in Community Theater, some on a High School stage, and even a few on television (though it really defeats the purpose of live theater, so that category has an asterisks). I'm lucky enough to have children who love performing so some of the listed shows, I've seen multiple times.
I know I've missed some... but this is my somewhat inclusive list.
- Wizard of Oz*
- Godspell
- Man of La Mancha
- Guys and Dolls
- Damn Yankees
- Rent
- West Side Story*
- Annie Get your Gun
- My Fair Lady *
- Jesus Christ Superstar
- Big River
- Dreamgirls
- Chicago
- Caberet
- Jekyll and Hyde
- Oliver!
- Fiddler on the Roof
- Sound of Music
- Phantom of the Opera
- Les Miserables
- Anything Goes
- Bye Bye Birdie
- Once Upon a Mattress
- Seussical
- Hairspray
- Footloose
- Oklahoma
- The King & I*
- Gypsy
- In the Beginning
- Annie
February 27, 2012
Perspective, Use it or Lose it
A few things swirling in my life this week have given me a renewed opportunity to keep perspective. As a freelance writer, I frequently am looking for work. Projects tend to be short lived or even single opportunities. When a long term project comes along, it's freelance nirvana. Until that project changes.
It's a delicate balance, trying to remain flexible and yet stay working. One of the most important lessons I've learned is that the only person who is right is the one signing the checks. It's a tough lesson to absorb, but that's the reality. When you freelance, you are at the mercy of your contractor.
Something that occurred to me is that I'm well equipped in this economy. I know how to keep looking for work, even when none seems to be on the horizon. I'm not the first causality of cost overruns or project shifts, nor will I be the last.
I feel like a proverbial boy scout, needing to be prepared. Expect the best but prepare for the worst.
How do you keep perspective in uncertain times?
It's a delicate balance, trying to remain flexible and yet stay working. One of the most important lessons I've learned is that the only person who is right is the one signing the checks. It's a tough lesson to absorb, but that's the reality. When you freelance, you are at the mercy of your contractor.
Something that occurred to me is that I'm well equipped in this economy. I know how to keep looking for work, even when none seems to be on the horizon. I'm not the first causality of cost overruns or project shifts, nor will I be the last.
I feel like a proverbial boy scout, needing to be prepared. Expect the best but prepare for the worst.
How do you keep perspective in uncertain times?
February 17, 2012
Snips and Snails & Puppy Dog Tails
... that's what little boys are made of...
As a parent of Sugar & Spice, and everything little girls are made of, I tend to spend most of my time with girls. But as the sister of Snips & Snails, I can relate to boys pretty well, and it takes me back in time to being the "big sister". My day yesterday was filled with younger men. In fact, the combined ages of all three males still are about 15 years younger than me.
It was a busy day for me. I was out and about all day then I had a shift at the hospice house at night.
During the day, I taught in the city. I had a class of smart little 6th graders. Great kids... were excited, attentive, and polite.
One little guy came up to me during a break and announced how much he was enjoying the class, he wanted to learn more about this. How thrilling was that? He was smart as a whip. We were discussing an overview of the global economy and I mentioned the trade embargo with Cuba, and he raised his hand and asked "was the because of the Bay of Pigs"? This is a 12 year old! Then at the end of the class, he asked if I would be back when he was in 7th grade. I told him I don't have control over my assignments, but that I sure would enjoy that. He shyly stood there as I packed my stuff up and asked if I would like help carrying my stuff to my car before he went to lunch. I told him I had to go back to the library with the rest of the volunteers, but that I could use his help finding it. He walked with me chattering excitedly about how he wants to study international business and he couldn't wait to study the book I gave him, etc. etc. I admit, I had a tiny little crush on this earnest young man.
The rest of my day I was smiling at his offer to help me.
When I got to hospice, I saw two young boys in the children's playroom. I popped in and introduced myself and asked if they needed anything. They said they were okay. A few minutes later I mentioned to the nurse what nice and well behaved boys they were and she said, "oh their mother is in such and such a room, she will probably pass away within the 24 hours".
My heart collapsed. I looked in again at the innocent little boys who undoubtedly knew what was happening but were vanquished to the playroom while the family kept vigil. As a volunteer, I am trained to only work with what I am told, not to pry. I don't know why their family decided not to let them in the room. But they were in the playroom the entire 2 hours. After about an hour, I popped back in, and said, "would you boys like some ice cream?" We have an honor kitchen (it's stocked with food and a coin jar to pay for what you take). They jumped for joy so I went and bought them each a little cup of ice cream. I sat and visited with them while they ate the ice creams and thought how tomorrow if not soon, these little cherubs may lose their mother. They told me about Harry Potter and living on a farm and their cat with three legs. She went out in the woods with four, came home with three. When they were done with their ice cream, they both said thank you and cleaned up their spots. I saw their dad later and told him how good the boys were.
My heart was so incredibly moved by my trio of "snips and snails", although upon reflection it may not be puppy dog tails, but rather kitty cat feet. Now if we can just put them in a time machine and see if they turn into the wonderful young men they are today. The future looks pretty good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
